The Amish Outlaws

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The Amish Outlaws Diary

Reading backwards? Click here to go to the first page the diary.

Sunday, August 19th, 2007

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

Big news! The new issue of BLENDER Magazine with a little article about The Amish Outlaws is out now and available wherever magazines are sold (except CVS, Eckerd and 7-11, apparently... I had to go to Barnes and Noble to find a copy).  Here is the article, for your enjoyment. It's a quick one, but we are excited and honored to have been included!

You have probably noticed our new "Hoe Down in the Sand" Summer Tour shirts at our shows. We are just about sold out, so if you see and want one, get up on it and talk to one of us or the wonderful Melody at a show. Here is a picture of Amos modeling the shirt. As you can see, the shirt was designed to be extra-slimming:

I just got back from 10 days off. We played the beautiful Captain Nick's in beautiful Block Island, RI last weekend. It was beautiful. We biked all over the island, visiting small beaches and big lighthouses, one of which we walked along a very hot and long beach to reach only to find closed. I scowled fiercely, but it was still closed:

I stayed on the Island for a few more days, then ventured off to beautiful NH for another few days, where there was much lake-swimming, eating of steak, sleeping, and reading. Here is a photo taken on Old Hancock Road in New Hampshire, the location of many many relaxing walks:

Note the lack of a scowl.

Back in the saddle and ready to rock, we have 4 shows this week, starting off at a new club in New York City called STOUT. It is a special Wednesday night performance with an early start of 8 PM so you can still get up for work the next day! Then, Thursday we are off to The Inn for what is sadly our LAST Thursday of the summer. I can't believe it is already over, but we already have dates at The Inn on weekends in the fall and already have our fingers crossed that we'll be back again next summer. Friday we go WAAAAY down to Avalon, NJ to play at the great Jack's Place, then Saturday we return to one of our favorites... The Sea Shell in Long Beach Island, NJ.

Summer is almost over... hard to believe! The fall will be just as much fun, though, so shed no tears!

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Monday, August 6th, 2007

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

It hath arrived! Our other "busiest week of the summer." Though, to be honest, compared to last summer, this one right here has been a relative cakewalk but no less well-endowed in the "fun" department. Last week found us at The Inn for another unforgettable Thursday night. The good people there make every Thursday feel like a Friday, which (from what I hear) are the new Saturdays! Speaking of Friday, we spent it at The Colorado Cafe playing for some of the most enthusiastic good people in the wide world. There is no show like a Colorado show. We leave ears ringing from the screams (the good kind). Saturday we broke new ground at The Beach Bar in Hampton Bays, NY, where we were honored to be the first live band to play there in four years! This is a big and beautiful club with an outside patio and more people than you can shake a stick at, not to mention a staff that was accommodating and friendly beyond compare from the second we walked into the room. We'll be back at The Beach Bar next summer!


The fun you missed at The Colorado Cafe on Friday (if you weren't there).

So this week? We travel state to state, show to show, nary a moment's rest in between. Tuesday we storm the Borgata for a nice early show, starting at 9:30 in the PM. Wednesday we return to The Middlesex County Fair for the second of what we hope will be many years. This is your chance to see The Amish Outlaws PG-13, sans profanity, and Hezekiah may even keep his shirt buttoned up for a whole gig! Thursday... yes, that's right! Back at THE INN for another hot summer night. Friday and Saturday we venture to one of the most beautiful places in the world: Block Island, Rhode Island where we spend two nights playing at Captain Nick's, and two days soaking up the sun and gorging ourselves on seafood and other delicacies. There really is no place like Block Island. It is like stepping back in time, with all the quiet and peace of the olden days, and all the modern amenities like hamburgers and soft-serve ice cream. Just take a look:

A view of Block Island from the fire escape of the building where the band stays.

As many of you know, with some bands playing rock and/or roll is all about the booze and partying. For us, it is all about the FOOD. The best part of being on the road is getting to eat in lots of different places. You may not be aware that our own Amos has a blog called THE DEVIL'S KITCHEN about the many many meals in our travels, and he has been keeping busy eating and updating it of late. To read about our culinary adventures, just click the image below.

It is hard to believe that summer is almost over. We usually look towards the fall like the start of the "easy" season, but with 20 shows so far in September, it doesn't look like there will be much time to rest, but we are grateful to be so lucky that we get to play as much as we do, and will never forget that it is you good people that make it all possible.

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

                # # #

Wednesday, July 25th, 2007

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

Some exciting news in the land of The Amish Outlaws. We just celebrated our fourth birthday! It was on July 21st, 2003 that we played our first show, and we played that very same night at the Sea Shell in Beach Haven, NJ and it was a PLEASURE! When I think about all the shows, people, friends, food... I cannot help but feel the deepest gratitude for the most important thing in all of this: YOU. The people that come to see us play. The people that cheer and yell and support us through times thick and thin. You have made it possible for us to come this far, and we will be eternally grateful. Come see any Amish Outlaw for a hug of thanks any time you want.

Some other exciting news... we are going to be in the September issue of BLENDER Magazine in their "Weird Band Alert." The September issue comes out in August, from what I understand. Well, to be honest, I really DON'T understand. You English have strange ways of scheduling things.

I've been lapse in updating the diary of late as certain key people in my life have reminded me. Apologies. Between summer being in full tilt and life in general being crazy, it slipped to the wayside. But, I have resolved to do WEEKLY diary updates, even if just a brief recap of the shows from that week.

Not least among the craziness is the accident Hezekiah and I were involved in a few weeks back. We are okay (banged up and sore) but still experiencing the effects of the accident (physical therapy three times a week has been helping). So, while I may not be as animated as usual at shows, I am happier than ever to be playing as I realize how lucky we both are to be alive! Take a look at what was left of his car and you will see why!

The remains of Hezekiah's car.

On a happy note, we have had great shows all over lately. From the aforementioned Sea Shell show to Seacrets (how's THAT for alliteration?), it's been FUN from the rootie to the tootie.

Hezekiah serenading the ladies at Seacrets in his short shorts.

This week is a relatively easy one with regards to travel. Thursday we are at The Inn, as we are most Thursdays. The Inn remains one of our favorite places to play, and hands down one of the most fun with the GREATEST staff and people. Friday we return to "The Other Happiest Place on Earth," BAR A and Saturday we go not far from home to The Castle on the lovely shores of Greenwood Lake, NY. It is not often we are this close to Rockland, so we hope to see a lot of our old friends there!

Here's to the summer... food, fun, and tom-foolery!

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

We are slowly recuperating from one of the most fun but tiring weekends in the history of The Amish Outlaws. In three days we traveled over 1,100 miles, crossing state borders 13 times, spending over 22 hours driving. Yeah, we are crazy like that, but I can say without hesitation that IT WAS WORTH IT.

Friday night we played Seacrets in Ocean City, MD and were honored to be joined by the guitarist from the TRANS SIBERIAN ORCHESTRA, who played Led Zeppelin's "The Ocean" with the band. As usual, Seacrets was more fun than jumping naked into a vat of lukewarm mashed potatoes (for the record, that is fun. Just ask Jakob). Saturday during the day we made history by being the first band to play dodge ball with the audience while performing inside a gymnasium. Want to know the details? Ask us at a show. Saturday night was our debut performance at Katmandu in Trenton, NJ for their Cinco De Mayo bash. The free Mexican buffet was absolutely amazing. That food at Katmandu... whoooha! Mid way through the show, the temperature outside dropped about 20 degrees and the winds increased by about 20 mph at the outdoor stage, but the hardcore crowd braved the weather and stood fast in the face of mother nature, with our good friend Dawn even waving a big branch that blew off a tree in the air, like a middle finger to the forces of nature, declaring, "I'm still here, you bastards!" Steve McQueen rules! After the Katmandu show we headed back down to MD to a hotel in Baltimore that, when we arrived at 4:30 AM, promptly notified us that they had given our room away because there was high demand due to a baseball game in town on Sunday. So, there we were, stuck in the middle of downtown Baltimore with no hotel at 4:30 in the morning, scheduled to play the Towsontown Spring Fest the next afternoon. After traveling to three more hotels, and calling another 4, we finally found a hotel with vacancies and the clerk was kind enough to charge us the discounted day rate and give us a late checkout. PLUS, when Ezekiel finally laid down at 6 AM to sleep and was wracked with coughing due to a bad cold, and wandered down to the lobby in a daze, the same clerk gave him NyQuil from the hotel store.... free of charge. Thank you, Hilton Hotels!

The Towsontown Spring Festival was the perfect end to the weekend. Blue skies, warm sun, amazingly friendly and excited people. A huge stage, amazing reception, huge crowd, and a great show. It was like getting a big hug at the end of a long weekend. Then, on the way home - hungry and road-weary, we discovered a new burger place by accident called Five Guys Famous Burgers and Fries and I can say, this was one of the tastiest and most gloriously sloppy burgers I have ever had. If you can get to a Five Guys, DO IT. Just look at this beauty:

On a personal note, last night (Monday), myself (Eazy) and the great JSTEW from Chubb Rock went off to Irving Plaza in New York City to see a big Rock and/or Roll show... CELTIC FROST and TYPE O NEGATIVE! What a show that was. Though nearly delirious from lack of sleep, the power of heavy metal surged through my veins like so much molten lava, but rather than just reducing my innards to a pile of ashes and gore, I was invigorated by the sheer force of these legendary bands. Celtic Frost, in particular, are one of my first post-Rumspringa discoveries and a band that changed the way I felt about the world. We were lucky enough to meet up with Martin and Franco, the bass player and drummer of Celtic Frost after the show and for autographs and casual conversation and they were affable beyond reproach. Of course, there was only one way to cap off that evening... yet another immaculately delicious hamburger, this time at Big Nick's Burger Joint well past 2 in the AM. While my veins and cholesterol level may regret it, my stomach and heart never will, as hamburgers are ALWAYS the right thing to do.

Thanks to all the friends, old and new, that we saw this past weekend.

This coming weekend finds us at The Rambling House on Thursday, O'Donoghue's on Friday, and Bar A on Saturday. Visit our shows page for details. Hope we see you there!

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Tuesday, April 17th, 2007

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

You may or may not have noticed, but we are back from vacation! Vacation was great! Brother Ishmael is now officially "off the market." Jakob and I flew out to Italy to attend his wedding. It was my first time on a plane and out of the country, aside from being in Canada for about 2 hours a few years ago (I went to an Arby's). Italy was, predictably, amazing. Expect a report on the food in The Devil's Kitchen soon, but I will tell you now that the cuisine was incredible. Lots of meat, and I ate meat from at least 5 different animals: beef, chicken, wild boar, rabbit, venison. The Florentine Steak Jakob and I shared in Sienna was incredible. Here is a photo of it pre-cooking and eating:

Brother Ishmael's wedding to the lovely Iilia was beautiful. Outdoors in the hills of Tuscany, surrounded by the picturesque landscape. The weather was iffy, with lots of clouds and drizzle, but they chanced on having the ceremony outside and once they said their vows, I swear, the sun came out. It was like something out of a romance novel. Here is a photo of Ish and Iilia pulling up to the ceremony in a horse-drawn carriage:

We stayed at a place called the Agriturismo Colleoli, which is not only a place of lodging but also an incredible restaurant. Here is a photo of the Agriturismo:

Here are a few more snapshots of Ezekiel tooling about town:

So that is the Italian Vacation in short. It is back to business here. Last week's shows at The Whiskey Bar, The Nutty Irishman and Bar A were all excellent. Special thanks to everyone that came out at Bar A! Considering the dismal weather report, we were surprised it was so packed! This weekend we are off to Pennant East on Wednesday, then The Borgata Gypsy Bar on Friday, and back at The Inn on Saturday. For show details, click here.

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Tuesday, February 27th, 2007

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

A whole new year. 2007. The first two months flew by like a fart in the wind. Yes, fart. I know it is vulgar, but you know what? Farts are funny. If you can't laugh at farts, you had may as well cancel your cable.

Ever notice how in movies that are about "the future" we are never as advanced as we thought we were going to be when the movies were made? 2001: A Space Odyssey? Not even close. Freejack. Yeah, a crappy movie (Anthony Hopkins, what were you thinking?), but set in a 2009 that we'd need a time machine to reach in the next two years. 2010. Sure, we may not have "HAL 9000," but we DO have the iPod Shuffle. The Running Man. If we DON'T have game shows with guys singing opera covered in Christmas lights, chasing down criminals by 2019 I am going to be BITTERLY disappointed. And Escape From New York? 1997. Sure, it is a pain to get out of Manhattan during rush hour, but...

My point? As usual, I don't have one. I just got to thinking about where we are (as a band, as people, as a species) and where we expected to be when the future actually gets here. I can't complain. Sure, there have been good times, bad times, you know we've had our share... but we still have all our fingers and toes (that we were born with, anyway). The Amish Outlaws are still playing all over the place, and you kind folks are still making us feel so warm and fuzzy that we are thinking about going to see a doctor.

So, March is upon us like a duck on a June bug and with March comes perhaps our busiest pre-summer month. Even though we are off for an entire weekend (Thursday through Saturday), we'll still be playing a whopping 14 shows spread over five states, plus one special appearance (though "special" is a relative term). Why are we going on vacation, you ask? Our own, sweet Ishmael is getting married!

Ishmael practicing for his wedding night.

Yes, ladies, he will be officially off the market. As exciting as it is for him to be getting married, what is almost equally exciting is some of the Outlaws are going to Italy to attend his wedding. Speaking for myself (Eazy) I have never been on a plane before and am quite nervous, but at the same time excited to see another part of the world, and looking forward to having a weekend off at home when we return.

We will miss you folks while we are gone, so much that we scheduled a special "See you after vacation" show at Murphy's Third Rail on Sunday, March 25th. It will be an early performance, from 9PM - 11PM so you can still get plenty of rest before the week starts Monday. Plus, to help you say "sayonara" to the weekend, Murphy's will be running $3 shots of Jack Daniels and $4 Jack Daniels drinks. We shall be back Thursday, April 12th for our debut performance at The Whiskey Bar in Hoboken, NJ.

While on the subject of March (we were there, weren't we?), we'll be returning to New York City on Thursday, March 8th at The Red Lion. The first time was fun, and didn't even really hurt! Hope to see you all there again, including the friends we made up in Tannersville, NY at O'Neill's this past weekend. We finally get to play Bliss in Clifton, NJ on Tuesday, March 6th. The first one was all snowed out. We'll be going to a new club in a new area on Thursday, March 22nd at Tom McBrien's Pub in Hampton Bays, NY. This is an earlier show, firing up around 9 PM. We'll be back at familiar haunts like Seacrets, Rookies, Casey O'Toole's, Vintage, and The Colorado Cafe. We'll also be doing a special St. Patrick's Day Parade show at The Green Room on Saturday, March 10th from 2PM - 5PM and on Sunday, March 11th we'll be doing a special appearance at The Colorado Cafe on Country Line Dancing Night, learning some new moves for the stage.

Rather than cover all the rest of the March details here, check our schedule for the rest. We have fancy dazzling colors, dates, times, phone numbers and exciting, epileptic-fit inducing graphics on there. Not that we want anyone to have a fit, but much like chipmunks and squirrels, we like things that are shiny and exciting!

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

###

Wednesday, September 6th, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

I am not much of a profaner, but, "Holy crap. Summer is OVER," and what a summer it has been.

Our final weeks of the season were some of our best. We made some very interesting new friends. At our end-of-summer Borgata show, we were honored to meet and hang out with Richard Christy, whom you may know as a hilarious part of the Howard Stern team, but we first know as the incredible drummer of bands like DEATH, CONTROL DENIED, BURNING INSIDE, ICED EARTH and more. We hit it off, as metal heads are apt to do, and the following week, Richard and his lovely girlfriend came to see us at The China Club in NYC, where more metal talk, lots of drinking, eating, and general foolishness ensued, followed up by a trip to The Blarney Stone, where they have King Diamond and Iron Maiden on the jukebox. Good times...

Some of The Amish Outlaws with Richard Christy and Kristina.

This last week was just... well, all we could have hoped for. The final Thursday night at The Inn was one of the most memorable of the summer. All of our our old and new friends came out to send us off into oblivion, both figuratively (like a going away party) and literally (with loads of shots). The staff at The Inn disappeared after the first set and came out dressed Amish, and the lovely bartenders had underwear on that said "I LOVE AMISH" and "I LOVE OUTLAWS," one on each of them, so when their rears were side by side... well, you get the idea. Thank you to all our friends and the staff at The Inn for such a great send-off!


The final Thursday at The Inn.

Labor Day weekend was rounded out by returns to two of our favorite clubs: The Green Room in Seaside Park, NJ on Friday and Bar A in Lake Como, NJ on Sunday. On Friday, the hurricane winds and rain were battering Seaside. We were concerned at the beginning of the night that the weather might scare people off (the fact that parking was only $4 instead of $10 was a bad sign), but we were happy to be proven wrong. It wound up being the best night we have had at The Green Room, and we left filled with joy and pizza.

The hurricane-stricken Green Room.

Saturday found us at a new venue, Club 1402 in Reading, PA... a huge, beautiful club wit great people. They treated us really well, and it was nice to be so close to Lancaster again. We are looking forward to being back there next year.

Sunday at Bar A... we couldn't have thought of or asked for a better place to play our final show of the summer. In many ways, Bar A is where it all started, and probably where it will all end one day in a huge explosion of half-digested Sunrise sandwiches, copious amounts of alcohol, and a large tub of mascarpone cream.

The usual insanity ensues at Bar A!

So, here I sit. First post-summer week, in disbelief that we are only playing TWO NIGHTS this week. We do have a double on Saturday, but still... just two nights. Friday and Saturday! Last night I was up until 3:30 AM, unable to fall asleep despite being insanely tired.

We are looking forward to returning to all of our familiar haunts in the fall and seeing old friends... we've missed you guys. Thanks to everyone that made our summer so memorable.

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Tuesday, July 25th, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

Our schedule has been insane lately. So many great shows in many different states and cities. For all intents and purposes, we have been on tour for the past month, away from home for stretches of 5 or more days at a time, crashing at random people's houses and hotels on Aerobeds, mattresses, the floor... showering when we can. Eating WaWa three meals a day. Of course, there are also times of relaxation, like spending the day in Ocean City, MD and playing the night at Seacrets two days in a row. Hanging out on the beach in LBI, going to the movies and for pizza in Avalon, NJ. Not gambling, but sleeping and eating at The Borgata...

July has us doing 23 shows, between bars and parties, in 31 days. In all this insanity, I realized we missed our own birthday! The Amish Outlaws played our first show on July 21st, 2003. What a long way we have come over these three years. We started off doing one show every other month and it slowly grew to three or four shows a month. We never expected that it would grow as much as it has... to three, four, five, six shows A WEEK. A lot of people have been instrumental in bringing us to where we are, but no one more than those of you that come to see us perform. We cannot thank you enough (as you may have gathered from me constantly thanking you).

Below are some vintage photos from our first show ever at T-Bones in Valley Cottage, NY.
The Amish Outlaws in the original outfits. Amos and Ishmael still wear their original hats!

Brother Hezekiah X, version 1.0.

And here are two photos from some of the shows we did this month at Seacrets in ocean City, MD and STARS Stock at Joey Harrison's Surf Club in Ortley Beach, NJ.

Bathed in balloons at Seacrets.

Rocking "Scenario" at STARS Stock.

What a long strange trip it has been, people. Hundreds of shows in over half a dozen states, from as far north as Vermont, all the way down to Maryland. We won some, we lost some. Pounds were gained, pounds were lost. There have been 486 hamburgers, 763 slices of pizza, 136 lbs. of French fries, 22 gallons of ketchup... and we still live.

When you next see an Amish Outlaw, please give him a hug and say, "Happy birthday, Brother!"

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

###

                  Wednesday, July 12th, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

Summer is heavily upon us, like a sumo wrestler on a Bundt Cake. It's been a few weeks of insanity, with us trekking from Cromwell, CT to Ocean City, MD, to Atlantic City, NJ to Long Beach, NY and just about everywhere in between.

We've played some great new clubs, like Seacrets in Ocean City, MD. Seacrets is like a version of Jamaica that fell out of a plane and landed in Maryland. Right on the water with floats, good food, clubs, multiple bands and their own radio station. The band's show is taped with multi-cameras and broadcast on HUGE screens all around the place. At midnight they drop hundreds of balloons, confetti, streamers and other various items down onto the crowd. Then the balloons start popping and it sounds like the Guns of Navarone. Now, I have never heard the Guns of Navarone but always assumed them to be loud. It must be seen to be believed and, because we want you to believe it, we are going to show it to you.

The balloons and other stuff drop at Seacrets.

The Bamboo Bar in Seaside Heights, NJ is another club where we not only had a blast, but got completely blasted. 3,000+ drinking, sweating maniacs packed in and we partied all night long, even getting free BAMBOO t-shirts that we promptly donned on stage. We hope to be back next year.

The usual haunts like Bar A were kind to us as they always are. The Lagoon was excellent, and is another new place (our third gig there) where we hope to find ourselves frequently. Jack's Place welcomed us with open arms... some of the best and friendliest staff we have ever come across. I'd go on... but to be honest, it is hard to remember exactly where we have been!

We DO know that The Inn in Long Beach, NY, where we do every Thursday night, is becoming like a second home to us and we are thrilled to see the night growing. The Inn really is a INCREDIBLY fun place where the staff treat us like royalty. The food is excellent, and the beer flows like wine.

Last Thursday at The Inn.

Our regular Sunday nights at Joe Pop's have started and we are excited to watch that night grow as well.

We've also had some very new experiences at familiar places like The Borgata, where in one weekend we did two shows. On Saturday, July 1st, the band Hangface from Norway were at the Gypsy Bar, in the Borgata to open for Pat Benatar. They got up and jammed with Hezekiah and McMullen on a great rendition of "Enter Sandman."

Hangface are a great bunch of guys (and a girl) and an excellent band. Be sure to check them out.

Brother Hezekiah X showing off his new hat.

That night we also had a couple get engaged during our performance! It was quite lovely and we serenaded them with the Barry White classic, "Never Gonna Give You Up." See the following image:

Luckily, she said yes.

We finished our 13 date marathon and are on our last day off before doing the next 6 nights in a row. We'll be returning to The Inn on Thursday. Friday we break new ground at The Green Room in Seaside Park, NJ. Saturday and Sunday we are back at the great Joe Pop's in Ship Bottom, NJ for a double-header, and likewise we do two dates at Seacrets again on Monday and Tuesday. Then we have one day off before it starts all over again...

We love you all for accepting us with open arms and letting us be so busy! Be sure to check our shows page for all the details.

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Tuesday, May 2nd, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

We are back from vacation and into the thick of our schedule, and we couldn't be happier. Well, that isn't true. I'd be happier if I had an ice cream sandwich.

It is good to be back! We have broken ground at some new clubs, like The Lagoon in Essington, PA and Rory Dolan's in Yonkers, NY, and are returning to our old haunts, like Bar A and the Colorado Cafe. All is as it should be! The last of our gigs on the first weekend back was at The Rink in Montvale, NJ for the Annual Footprints at the Rink event, which benefits the Footprints in the Sand Foundation. We had a lot of fun playing at a roller rink, and we got free hot dogs, pizza and Icees. Hezekiah even went roller skating for the first time since he was a child. He managed to keep his feet, and almost destroy someone else's. Our photographer, Neal, got some video of the event and, like something straight out of America's Funniest Home Videos (but without the annoying voiceovers), Hezekiah lost control and crashed right into him, crushing his toe. Want to see the video? Click here.


Hezekiah on roller skates. He is not a good skater.

This week we are playing a wild college event on Thursday, involving a pig roast, beer, and The Amish Outlaws. Someone is certain to get hurt. The last time we played a Fraternity party, we lost Dirty Diana. The SigEp Brothers were thoughtful enough to get us a replacement, named Monica, but sadly she quickly developed an extra hole (that lets air out) by being passed around the crowd like a balloon and she is currently resting until we get the chance to patch her up.

Monica makes her debut at Bar A.

Friday, May 5th finds us at The Colorado Cafe for their Cinco De Mayo Party and wet t-shirt contest. We are lucky enough to be playing the event but, to be honest, we'd still be there even if we weren't. You don't want to miss this one. Saturday we are off to Bar A for their VIP CARD REDEMPTION PARTY. We call Bar A "The other happiest place in the world." What a weekend it will be, my friends. I hope to see you there. For details on the shows, click here.

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Friday, April 14th, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

We are having quite the time here in the land of The Amish Outlaws. We are in the thick of vacation, and once vacation is over and we move in to the summer, all bets (and pants) are off.  We are lucky to be playing at least 3 days a week for the foreseeable future, and in some cases much much more.

4/6 of the troupe are home and the other two Brothers are still out in the wild. I, Ezekiel, just got back from New Hampshire and Boston yesterday, where I spent the days reading, eating, and sleeping. I am proud to say that I took a nap each and every day of vacation, and it was good. The vacation was also quite a gastronomical outing. In Boston, I had one of the best hamburgers of my life at Bartley's Gourmet Burgers. It was a Reuben burger, which means it had sauerkraut, swiss cheese, and Russian dressing on it. I don't consider myself to be much of a gourmet, though I have eaten just about everything there is to eat, from squid to antelope, buffalo to alligator, but there is nothing I like more than a good hamburger. I was smiling for the next two days. The "Last Supper" of the trip was at Smith and Wollensky's, the legendary steakhouse. I had the Wollensky Salad, steamed broccoli and New York Cut Sirloin. This is prime meat, people, which means it is GOOD, and costs more than two pairs of shoes. I figured it was a once-in-a-lifetime deal, so I took the plunge and did not regret it.

Ezekiel outside Bartley's and Smith & Wollenksy's

Now we have one more weekend off before coming back to play at Chubby McGuire's on Thursday, April 20th, which happens to be Amos' birthday show AND Chubby McGuire's one-year anniversary bash! BIG festivities are planned.

I know I have said it before, but I have to say it again: it is because of you, the many friends that come to see and support us, that we are able to play as much as we do. We love you for it, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts.

                  Hugs and kisses,
                  Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

Tuesday, February 21st, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

It has been quite the time since the last Diary Of An Amish Man. To say we've been busy would be a gross understatement. Not just shows, but life in general. We have no complaints, however. We are doing what we love to do... playing shows! We just need to find a way to fit more sleep in.

Speaking of shows, we had what was perhaps our best run of gigs this past weekend. Three shows... three nights of complete and utter insanity. The weekend kicked off at Murphy's Third Rail in Dover, NJ. We had the honor of playing the grand opening of this great club many moons ago, and have played there many times since. It is always packed, but this past Friday was a whole new level. Then, on Saturday we trekked over to Old Bridge, NJ to play Old New York, one of the nicest places in our rotation. I knew it was going to be a good night when I arrived an hour before the show and had to park in the far back corner in the absolute last spot in the parking lot. We wrapped up the weekend with a special Sunday night performance at The Ringside Pub, which we consider to be one of our "hometown" clubs, even though we live about an hour away. The Ringside is one of the joints that helped get us started in New Jersey. It was a Sunday, so we weren't sure how the night would be, but it turned out to be one of our best nights at the Ringside ever. The perfect blend between fun, insanity, music, and alcohol-fueled mayhem! Below are pictures from each evening. Muphy's on the left, Old New York in the middle, and the Ringside Pub on the right.

    

A lot of friends came out for the show, including Monte, Dan and Bobby from Dog Voices. Bobby opened the show as party of Dueling Pianos, which was great, and then hung out for the rest of the night, proving yet again to be one of the wildest individuals in the state of New Jersey. He joined us to sing "We Are The World," and then proceeding to climb on top of the PA stack, and out on a beam over the audience where he dangled by his legs, screaming his heart out, before returning to the stack to jump down a good 7 or 8 feet to a crashing finish on the stage! Darren from All She Wrote was also in attendance, and joined us on Dancing With Myself, much to the delight of the ladies in the audience.

Bobby rides the beams.

Darren from All She Wrote.

What a weekend. It is going to be a tough one to top, but we shall try. This week we break new territory at The Blue (formerly Black Rock & Blue) in Bridgeport, CT, then return to The Wobbly Barn in the arctic reaches of Killington, VT for what promises to be three nights of frigid fun.

Friends, we love you all. Thank you so much for coming to the shows and making this all so rewarding for us. We couldn't be doing it without you.

                Hugs and kisses,
                Brother Eazy Ezekiel

P.S. Special thanks to the Sister who had me sign her stomach with a permanent magic marker at Chubby McGuire's this month. An honor!

# # #

Tuesday, January 10th, 2006

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

The year has come and the year has gone, and what an end to the year it was! New Year's Eve at Chubby McGuire's in Orangeburg, NY was a BLAST. It is a great club that is bringing in some excellent acts, including Dog Voices and The Nerds, so be sure to check out their web site and go down to Chubby McGuire's and party!

We have returned from our sabbatical and played our first three shows of the year, and they were GREAT. Rhythms of the Night on Thursday the 5th, Murphy's Third Rail on Friday the 6th, and then The Ringside Pub in Caldwell, NJ on Saturday the 7th. Each show was amazing, and we made a lot of new friends and saw a lot of old ones again. By the way, Rhythms of the Night serves one of the best burgers I have had in my life, and I am a burger man.

It all culminated Saturday, when we played to one of the most packed houses of our history thus far at The Ringside Pub. It was so crowded that Hezekiah X was able to realize one of his lifelong dreams... (at least, his post-Amish life), riding the crowd! Below is an animated image of that happening. The people at the Ringside Pub showed great strength and bravery carrying a sweaty Hezekiah around the bar!

Brother Hezekiah rides the crowd at the Ringside Pub.

This weekend we return to O'Donoghue's in Hoboken, NJ, one of the first NJ bars brave enough to host The Amish Outlaws in our first year together. It is one of our favorite places, and loads of fun. Then Saturday, we will be at one of the biggest and best Irish pubs on the planet, The Rambling House in Woodlawn, NY (also home to some MEAN grub). Then on Sunday and Monday (MLK Day), we trek up to Vermont for the first time for what promises to be a memorable weekend, if for no other reason than to see Amish men attempting to ski after eating copious amounts of steak, at The Wobbly Barn in Killington. Click here for details on this weekend's shows.

Brothers and Sisters, we are so happy to be back. We missed you!

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

December 22nd, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

I sit here in front of the computer on the second day of our holiday break. While it is nice to have time off, I already miss playing. We finished out with the staff party at The Inn in Long Beach on Long Island, where it looks like we will be doing a regular weekly date (Thursdays) over the summer. We've had a great year, and it is thanks to all of you, who come to the shows, bring friends, and spread the gospel of The Amish Outlaws that we have been so blessed. We can't thank you enough. The support has been overwhelming and we have made so many great friends along the way. We thank you all from the bottom of our hearts.

Some highlights of 2005:

1) Brother Hezekiah X losing over 40 pounds!
2) Brother Jakob "sharding" in LBI while we were there to play Joe Pop's.
3) Brother Ezekiel falling down and cutting his head at Bar A.
4) Brother Hezekiah X falling off the stage at Bar A
5) Brother Tom the Pasta Punisher crashing our Hoboken gig with the Bar A crew to celebrate his birthday (what is it about Bar A?)
6) The Black Whale Cruise (those who were there know why!)
7) Playing the House of Blues in Atlantic City
8) Most of all: all of the friends we made.

We are off until the 30th of December, when we will be returning to our favorite ‘BIG ‘OL BAR,' The Colorado Cafe the night before New Year's. Then, on New Year's Eve, we will be at Chubby McGuire's, a local haunt and another of our favorite places to celebrate with you all. Admission for New Year's Eve is $20 and includes a hot and cold buffet all night, champagne toast at midnight, contests, prizes, giveaways, and a special performance from The Amish Outlaws. There will also be $1, $2, and $3 drink specials ALL NIGHT LONG. There is a Holiday Inn just a few feet up the road (walking distance!) so you don't have to worry about driving home. You can get more details here. Please come celebrate with us!! We can't think of a better way to bring in the New Year than with all of the friends we have made this year. We hope to debut an INSANE new song we have been working on that night.

So, in summary, we ate a lot. We drank enough. We fell down. We lost weight. We pooped our pants, we played, we partied, and used alliteration in abundance. And we have YOU to thank for it.

Happy holidays and Happy New Year to you all from The Amish Outlaws!

Brother Tom the Buffet Crusher and Brother Ezekiel at O'Donoghue's in Hoboken, NJ
and The Amish Outlaws play the House of Blues.

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

November 16th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

As Brother Alex reminded me this week, I have been remiss in updating the Diary of an Amish Man lately, and Brother Alex is right. Remiss I have been.

We Outlaws have been keeping busy with shows, promotions, the Amish Fat Club and more. We've been playing a lot of new clubs, and some are winding up in the "So Much Fun I Could Punch Myself In The Crotch" category, like The Nutty Irishman (where we are playing this Friday), The Gypsy Bar at The Borgata, and more! The Gypsy Bar is especially good because we get passes to their employee cafeteria, which is a 24-hour buffet that is delicious, and even has fresh fried shrimp at 2 AM, which is perfect after a gig and hours spent partying the night away.

THANKSGIVING EVE NEWS!
THANKSGIVING EVE NEWS!

We will be playing in our home area of Rockland County, NY at Chubby McGuire's on the night before Thanksgiving - Wednesday, November 23rd. It will be WILD. The last show at Chubby McGuire's was packed. Most bars charge a lot more to get in on nights like this, but the good folks at Chubby McGuire's are keeping the cover at just FIVE DOLLARS, so you'll have even more money for the jukebox, snacks, drinks, or just to show off to your friends! There will be drink specials and giveaways all night, and the Amish Outlaws have some special things planned as well.

We also recently played the House of Blues in Atlantic City for a Red Cross benefit with several other great bands. Unfortunately, we don't have photos from it yet, but I made one to give you an idea of what it was like:

The Amish Outlaws at the House of Blues

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

October 21st, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

I haven't spent much time updating the diary of late as the Amish Fat Club has been taking up much of our time. Hezekiah will be weighing in again tonight at McGilligan's in Yonkers, a small club with a lot of energy. I am sure it is going to be a crazy night.

We have been busy with gigs and lucky to have the support of a lot of great people. We've hit some new clubs in new areas (The Nutty Irishman in Long Island was especially fun) and are going back to some of our old haunts as well.

This weekend we are also at Bar A, then we have a string of Halloween shows, then the busiest week of the band so far with 6 gigs the first week of November. It will be fun, but tiring. I am sure mass amounts of hamburgers will be consumed as they are the cornerstone of every hard-working Amish band.

We also recently discovered that Wawa has great sandwiches, made fresh, 24-7. Why don't they have Wawas in New York? Brother Amos has been mapping out Wawa locations near the clubs we play. Surprisingly, 7-Eleven has some good wraps as long as you check the "made on" date. A few of the Brothers, with hazed late-night judgment, have been rocking the microwave burritos (bravely or foolishly, depending on who you ask). No surprises there in the results.

Anyway, more to come later. For now check out the Amish Fat Club, and enjoy.

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

September 5th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

I decided to check in from vacation. It as been relaxing, but we are all feeling that itch. Not psoriasis, but rather the itch to play again, and play we will! We just added a bucket full of new show dates to our calendar and still have a few more waiting to be confirmed. 

We won the poll at the Colorado Cafe web site for best Friday night band last month. Thank you to those who voted for us! We have a number of shows at the Colorado before the year is out. It is a great place, with delicious all-you-can-eat ribs, which we will be sure to stay away from before a performance, for everyone's sake. During the break we also received one of the nicest pieces of press on the band from Night & Day Magazine, in which journalist Bill Bodkin had the following to say about us, which still has us all blushing:

    " I've seen a lot of big name cover acts play before, but I've never seen a band create such a chemistry with an audience like these guys do. The show is just so fun you literally have to experience it to know just how good these guys are."

Click here to read the full article. Thank you, Brother Bill!

We were clean out of t-shirts before our break, but we ordered more men's and women's shirts and expect to have them for our first gig back at Park City on Thursday, September 8th.

I wish to keep this brief as I am due at a BBBQ at Brother McMullen's shortly. The extra B is for BYOBB. That other extra B is a typo.

I leave you with the following photo of Brother Jakob (who will also be at the BBBQ):

The Amish Outlaws

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

# # #

August 15th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

Well, vacation has begun! The Outlaws will be off until September 4th, when we will be returning to the Duck Crossing Farm in our home state to play the great Bruno Family Labor Day BBQ Bash, where the Brunos stuff us with filet mignon and seafood and then expect us to put on an energetic performance. We love the Brunos! Then it is on to our very busy fall calendar, where we will be playing a lot of new rooms like Park City, Old New York, The Funky Monkey and more, as well as returning to some of our old haunts. We still have a handful of fall dates to be confirmed and our calendar will be updated with them over the break.

We had a great last weekend before our break. We played Bar A in Belmar, NJ on Friday, the 12th of August. The air conditioning was on the fritz, so we set a new personal record for perspiration. Below are some choice photos of a few of the Brothers in various states of sweatiness. Notice Brother Jakob's shirt (far right) is all just one darker shade. That is complete saturation.

The Amish Outlaws Sweating

We played with BLASTED, who put on a GREAT show that we really enjoyed. Here is a shot of Brother Ezekiel in the crowd, "rocking out," as the English put it:

The Amish Outlaws

You can view more pictures from the evening here. Special thanks go out to Brother Tom the Pasta Punisher from Bar A and our good friends in BLASTED for such a great night!

On Saturday we played a private party at a farm in New York, around 90 minutes north of NYC. We ate well, drank well, and hopefully played well. It was a great way to round out the summer, with a relaxed evening in an atmosphere we are accustomed to.

On behalf of The Amish Outlaws, we would like to thank you all for such a great summer season, and we look forward to seeing you all again in the fall.

              Hugs and kisses,
              Brother Eazy Ezekiel

#  # #

August 10th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

The Amish Outlaws will be returning to the Jersey Shore for our LAST SHOW OF THE SUMMER on Friday, August 12th at the great Bar A, aka "the happiest place on earth." We have done a showcase or two at Bar A and are finally returning to do a show proper. We are honored to be playing with BLASTED. They will be going on from 10 PM - 11 PM and then the Amish will storm the stage for the rest of the night, until the wee hours of the AM. Be forewarned, however. You never know what kind of unsavory characters are going to show up at Bar A, as evidenced by the photo below of Brother Ezekiel and a fellow patron:

Our shows last weekend at the Colorado Cafe and Tommy Fox's were both excellent! Thank you all for coming out and supporting us. Brother Hezekiah rode the mechanical bull and fell off. Luckily the area around the bull was almost as heavily padded as Brother Hezekiah, himself.

Brother Amos also rode the bull, but could not be conquered. While there was no prize for staying on the bull, the feeling of accomplishment was well worth the wear and tear on his back, and it was soon discovered that women dig guys that can ride mechanical bulls. We don't know why, but boy, did they smell good!

                Hugs and kisses,
                Brother Eazy Ezekiel

#  # #

July 27th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

The Amish Outlaws will be playing our last show in Rockland County (our home turf) this Friday, July 19th at Chubby McGuire's in Orangeburg, NY. We had a great summer, and have a lot of our friends in Rockland to thank for their support so we are going to make it an extra special night, without involving barnyard animals or riot foam. We will be debuting a new, twisted song we have been working on that is decidedly different for us.

We will be playing our debut show at The Colorado Cafe in Watchung, NJ the following weekend on Friday, August 5th with BITTER X as part of The Amish Outlaws "United World Friendship Tour." The Colorado is a HUGE place, complete with a mechanical bull, that is a country bar the rest of the week. The stage is huge, the room is huge... it is sure to be a fun show. BITTER X is a great band, and we have some surprises in store with them involved.  Please click here for more details on the upcoming shows.

The Outlaws played a private party last weekend where they had a "Pig Roast." We have seen whole (living) pigs before, but never one that was roasted. It was a very impressive and delicious sight. Here is a picture of the grill with the pig on it behind the band. It smelled really good the whole time we were playing.

Here is a photo of a man cutting up the pig:

Pigs can be cute, and delicious.

If anyone is having a pig roast and need some extra mouths to feed, please let us know and we will be happy to help.

Some people are like slinkies
Not really good for anything...
but they can still bring a smile to your face
when you push them down the stairs.

                Hugs and kisses,
                Brother Eazy Ezekiel

#  # #

July 19th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

The Outlaws are excited to be playing the Miller Lite Band Showcase at The Osprey in Manasquan, NJ (at the NJ shore) this Sunday night, July 24th. We are playing with two other bands, CHUMP and JACKED. The Amish Outlaws will be going on at 10 PM, the other bands start at 8. If you are in the mood for spending a nice day at the shore, then a wild night with the Amish, please come down and party with us!

The Brothers recently played a party down on the southernmost tip of Manhattan in Battery Park. We had a very nice view of the Statue of Liberty, which a number of us had never seen in person before. We were able to take one photo of Brother Jakob before the battery died in the camera, which we keep forgetting is going to happen. Here it is:

Brother Jakob (left) and Statue of Liberty (right)

We had a lot of fun at Don's in Stony Point, NY and the Vintage in White Plains, NY this past weekend. They were two of our best shows so far! You can check out photos from them here. A person attending the show at Vintage insisted that we "do a shot" with her, so we did. Here is a photo of the Brothers doing the shot. Brother Amos and Hezekiah didn't know they were supposed to wait for everyone else and drank the shot straight off. As you can see, they were not prepared and their eyes are closed in the aftermath of the burning feeling. At first it was a bit of a shock, but then we liked it, and hope to do more shots soon.

Shots are fun.

On October 29th we'll be playing Chubby McGuire's (aka the Orangeburg Tavern) in Orangeburg, NY. Then, the weekend after that, we are playing The Colorado Cafe in Watchung, NJ on Friday, August 5th with BITTER X. It is our first time at the Colorado Cafe, so please come down and help us party. BITTER X are an AMAZING band and we are honored to be playing with them. Please click here for more details on the upcoming shows.

                Hugs and kisses,
                Brother Eazy Ezekiel

#  # #

July 12th, 2005

Hello Brothers and Sisters!

We decided to start this online diary of sorts to keep you posted of the latest happenings in the world of The Amish Outlaws.

A few of the members of The Amish Outlaws ventured to a genuine Chinese restaurant in New City, NY called Mandarin Gourmet. We had eaten take out Chinese food before, but this was the first time we dined in one. It was delicious and confusing. Brother Amos was trying to figure out the "Chop sticks" and had a mishap.

Brother Amos
The directions on the Chop Sticks were quite confusing, as they said, "Tuk under thurnb and held firmly. Add second chcostick hold it as you hold a pencil. Hold tirst chopstick in original position move the second one up and down Now you can pick up anything."

After finishing the meal, the very polite and helpful waiter presented us with cookies and oranges. Brother Ezekiel ate one of the cookies, only to discover there was a piece of paper inside.

Brother Ezekiel's new lucky numbers are 1, 6, 12, 25, and 38.

The Chopstick instructions also included visual aids, which we saved and scanned. Brother Hezekiah found a use for the Chopsticks (besides eating) that were not forbidden by the visual instructions (see below) by putting them in his mouth instead of nose and pretending he was a walrus.

We are hoping to go to a Zoo in the coming weeks and will report back.

In other news, we are constantly adding new shows in new locations, thanks to our agency, STARS Productions and the hardest working man in NJ, Rob Monte. Speaking of new areas, we have two shows this week at old ones: Don's in Stony Point, NY on Friday the 15th and the great Vintage Bar in White Plains, NY on Saturday the 16th. We are working on some new music this week that we hope to have ready for the weekend. An 80s classic!

Our next public show will be a Miller Lite Band Showcase at The Osprey in Manasquan, NJ (at the NJ shore) on Sunday night, July 24th. This is our first time at the Osprey, and we are very excited as it is a legendary Jersey bar. It is going to be a WILD night. We are playing with two other bands, CHUMP and JACKED. The Amish Outlaws will be going on at 10 PM, the other bands start at 8.

On Sunday, July 4th we played the BayView in West Haverstraw, NY. On Monday, July 5th, it burned down. We had a great last night there where we actually rode up to the club on a boat, sounding an air horn and making a grand entrance. We hope the good folks at the BayView are back on their feet soon.

We had a blast playing at The Rambling House in Woodlawn, NY this past weekend. Check out the photos from the night here.

                Hugs and kisses,
                Brother Eazy Ezekiel

_______________________________________________________

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